Love Gone Weird
by Elizab3thBlack
Summary: Heero and Relena...on a bay...Heero proclaiming his lowait...no he's not! Singing? Falling lights? Random cameo's by Slayers cast! What's going on!


Love Gone ...Weird...

Heero and Relena stood on the dock over-looking the ocean. The two sat holding hands looking lovingl-

**BS**: Hold it! This is the Author speaking, thank-you-very-much; and since I'm the omnipotent one...None of THAT will be going on!

**Lina**: Good, I thought I was gonna be sick!

**BS**: Pushes Lina-chan away Shuddup! Now to fix this fic...picks up remote, hits rewind

-lgnivol gnikool sdnah gnidloh tas owt ehT .naeco eht hnikool-revo kcol eht no doots aneleR dna oreeH

**BS**: Better now! Re-starting...

Heero and Relena stood on the dock over-look-

**Lina**: I THOUGHT U SAID U WERE STARTING OVER!

**BS**: I am just keep watchin...

Heero and Relena stood on the dock over-looking the ocean when suddenly Heero turned to Relena with emotion filled eyes.

**Lina**: WHAT THE?!

**BS**: Grabs duck-tape and wraps Lina-chan in it before she can comment anymore. Just watch, there's a reason it's a humor fic! Hee-hee

Heero: I love you Relena.

Relena: Heero?

Relena looks at the one that had stolen her heart so long (er...two weeks ago) ago. She is confused by the way he is acting, and what he just said.

Heero: I-I stumbles on the words Ah [enter bad words here], Omae o Korosu.

Relena: Suuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeee...

Suddenly he pulls out his gun and points it at her. Relena's eyes widen in surprise.

Relena: Heero...what are you going to do with that gun?

Heero: Shoot you...

Her eyes triple the wideness of what they were. Then suddenly a bang rings through the dock as the lone bullet pierces the young princess's beautiful pale skin. Suddenly the young man's dark Prussian eyes widen in realization. He leans over and stops her body from falling against the rotting wood. Holding her close to his body he checks for a pulse. When he finds none his head hangs low, and eyes shut. For the next few moments he makes no sound then suddenly he drops her ((in which she disappears from existence, for the time being)) and jumps up.

Heero: YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Suddenly the other Gundam Pilots appear and look at the suicidal one in confusion.

Quatre: But...but Heero I thought you love her?

Heero: with a sad smile on his face Well...I do, but do you have any idea how ANNOYING she can be? Chasing me around, wanting me to kill her, YOU'RE OWN PERSONAL STALKER! It's the WORST thing the WORLD! Especially if it's HER! Zechs is a mad psychopathic, overprotective brother...I may be suicidal but not THAT suicidal!

Duo: Makes sense...but then WHOM are you going to marry?! I mean the fans will be either ecstatic that your free-

**BS**: To take for themselves, and do all the kinky fun they want...

All: WHO SAID THAT?!

**BS**: snickers

Duo: Nevermind...let me continue, either they will be happy you're free, or upset you're the lonely one, without love. sniffles

Quatre: pats Duo's back it's okay buddy...Heero is sure to find someone nice.

Heero: In fact...

They all turn to the Perfect Soldier in surprise.

Wufie: You planned this didn't you! Injustice! Even I wouldn't sink THAT low, Yuy!

Heero: HEY! What can I say women love me!

**Everyone**: O.O O.O O.O O.O

**BS**: ANYWAY...

Trowa: Then who ARE you marrying Heero?

Heero: Hilde

Duo: WHAT?!

Heero: Yah...me and her eloped last night...

Duo: WHAT?!

Quatre: But...I thought Duo and Hilde were already married?

Trowa: No...Hilde isn't even supposed to show up for the next few episodes...in fact I think she had more then 20..but I don't remember...

Quatre: Then...how?

Duo: NEVER MIND THAT! HILDE WAS MINE! MINE!

Hilde: DUO! I WAS NEVER YOURS! SO DEAL!

Heero: Yah!

Duo: shocked

Heero takes Hilde into his arms and kisses her passionately.

Heero: I think it was the best idea I ever had to go and run off with her to Las Vegas and marry. smiles

All: O.o

Duo in anger looks around (all the girls have suddenly appeared, other then Relena, who's dead, but you know) and grabs the girl closest to him.

Duo: FINE! I'm eloping with Dorothy!

Quatre: WHAT?! NO!

The normal peaceful blonde gets a fire in his eyes and storms over to Duo. He grabs Dorothy's right arm, while Duo has her left; and begins tugging.

Quatre: MAXWELL! SHE'S MINE!

Duo: MINE!

Quatre: MINE!

Duo: MINE!

Quatre: MINE!

Duo: DUDE! SHE HASN'T SHOWN UP EITHER SO LE'GO!

Quatre: growls NO!

The tugging between the two continue...Finally Dorothy is sick of it, plus she wants to keep her arms...rips her grip from Quatre and pulls out a fencing sword.

Dorothy: Quatre Rebarbra Winner! I am going with Duo and that's final!

Quatre: tears in eyes Bu-bu-but Doroko!

Dorothy: NO BUTS!

He backs off afraid of the sword...then suddenly his face brightens.

Quatre: Well if I can't have Doroko...

He grabs the older girl next to him.

Quatre: I'LL TAKE SALLY!

Wufie: INJUSTICE!!

Wufie takes out his katana in anger. But just as he's about to slash down and cut the Noble of the Desert in half a tall redhead wraps her arms around the Chinese man's waist.

Katherine: pouting What about me Wu-chan?

Wufie: eyes wide and stutters We-we-we-well...I guess your fine...hmph...BUT NO KNIFE TRICKS!

Trowa looks at Wufie and Kathy in surprise, then slowly a smile spreads across his face.

**Everyone**: O.O O.O O.O O.O O.O O.O

Trowa: HEY WUFIE!

Wufie: What?

Wufie didn't really feel like answering, considering the nice dark lil' corner he'd found, but had some integrity left soooo...

Trowa: Now we're brother-in-laws!

Wufie: WHAT?!

Trowa: That's my sister...

Wufie: Oh...oh well

Wufie goes back to his, erhm, activities with Kathy. While Duo and Dorothy have run off to marry in Las Vegas also. Heero and Hilde are still kissing passionately, we thinks it'll get a lil' more 'involved' soon, but since this is gonna try and stay at a PG-13 level we'll leave them be; and Quatre and Sally...um...their...uh...

**BS**: I LOST SALLY AND QUATRE!!! [enter bad words here] O well...back to this moments fanfic...

Trowa stand alone in a black void (how he got there...I don't know...he just is. DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT!?) Suddenly on lone spot light drops on to his head.

Trowa: OW!

**BS**: Oops...I meant the light not the spotlight. Er...wait...ahhhhhhhhh never mind! Trowa just start singing.

And he bursts out into song!

Trowa: Show me the meaning of being lonely!

Is this the feeling!? I need to walk with?

Suddenly the other GW-pilots all stop, or appear, from their 'other' activities as backdrop singers. Wufie is wearing loose black pants, and a white wife-beater. Duo has on blue jeans and a black wife-beater and red over-shirt. Quatre is in all leather (Why? THINK ABOUT IT CRACK MONKEYS! Quatre would be SO HOT if he was in all leather!). Heero's in black jeans and a black wife-beater and white over-shirt. Then lastly Trowa himself has suddenly appeared in all white. White jeans, a white shirt, everything! Even his shoes are white! (Why on this one? I DON'T KNOW! I JUST THINK TROWA'd BE COOL IN ALL WHITE!)

**Lina**: Can you just continue?

**BS**: How? Never mind I won't ask...smirks I'll just re-tie you up! chases Lina-chan over horizon

Trowa: Tell me why...

BDS: Tell me why

**Chassidy**: Otherwise know as the BackDrop Singers or the GW pilots.

Trowa: Tell me why I can't be there where you are!

BDS: Where you are! Where you are!

Trowa: There's something missing in my heart!

BDS: Something missing in my heart!

As he gets ready to do another chorus another spotlight drops on someone.

Someone: OUCH!

**BS**: ARGH! You know what I meant!

The young blonde girl sings with all her heart.

Midii: Nobody wants to be lonely

BDS: Why...

Midii: Nobody wants to cry

BDS: Why...

Midii: My body's longing to hold you

BDS: Why...

Midii: So bad it hurts inside

BDS: Why...

Midii: Time is precious and it's slipping away

BDS: Why...

Midii: And I've been waiting for you all of my life

BDS: Why...

Midii: Nobody wants to be lonely so why...

BDS: Why...

Midii: Why don't you let me love you?

BDS: Why?

The two look at each other lovingly. Trowa slowly walks over to Midii and takes her into his arms. Then leans down to kiss her, but she stops him. He looks at her confused.

Midii: I'm so sorry Trowa but my heart already belongs to another!

Trowa: But!

Midii: I'm sorry! But I have a single cousin!

Trowa looks at her in disbelief, then after a few seconds of contemplating looks down at her.

Trowa: Fine, I'll meet this 'cousin' of yours...

Midii: O GOODY! COUSING!

Not far off suddenly there is a shadow of someone.

Someone: OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!

Trowa looks in horror.

**Lina**: BS you DIDN'T!

**BS**: I did!

Naga the White Serpent steps into the light. Laughing like the manic she is.

Naga: looks at Trowa So you're the man my cousin told me about! She was right you ARE handsome!

**BS**: gags

Naga: But do you think you could handle NAGA! THE WHITE SERPENT! Greatest SORCERESS in the world! Nemesis to Lina Inverse?!

**Lina**: gags

Trowa: pales

**BS**: giggles

Without one other thought Trowa Barton runs, screaming.

Midii: I'm sorry cousin...I didn't think he'd do that.

Naga: laughing He just was bewildered by my beauty and power!

**Me AND Lina**: gags to death X.X

Far off from that spot suddenly the young princess of the Sanq Kingdom wakes up.

Relena: Wha? Where am I? The last thing I remember was getting locked in a broom closet, after Heero shot me, which reminds me where is Heero?

**BS**: Oops...uh HI RELENA! Um...Heero? He uh...elopedwithHilde...

Relena: Huh?

**BS**: He eloped with Hilde...

Relena: WHAT?!

**BS**: I'm sorry Relena...I'm sure you'll find some LONELY soul that will be willing to marry you...

Relena: flames in background That's it! This pacifism crap has got me NO WHERE! SCREW PACIFISM!

**Everyone**: O.o o.O

**BS**: Woah...Lena...calm down there Hun!

Relena: CALM DOWN! I'LL SHOW YOU CALMED DOWN! pulls out revolver

**Everyone**: O.O

Suddenly as the ex-princess of pacifism gets ready to shoot the whole dang world, a lone solider appears.

**Lina**: Is it just me...or is she obsessing over the word lone today?

**Zel**: No she's obsessing...

**BS**: BOTH OF U SHUT UP!

**Both**: O.o = OxO

He quietly walks over to her, and lays his hand above hers and stops Lena from shooting the world (specifically the Author). She turns to find a sad looking Trowa.

Relena: surprised Trowa? Trowa what's wrong?

He looks at her with his sad emerald eyes. Then as his takes a deep breath he leans in to her lush, plump lips.

**BS**: Okay never mind...it's getting mushy again....I'll do the ending.

Trowa and Relena go elope to the deep, uncharted lands of Mars, so they could have kinky love!

**Everyone**: O.O O.O O.O O.O O.O O.O O.O O.O O.O O.O O.O O.O O.O O.O

Disclaimer: None of the characters are mine, u know the usual. And also this idea was not solely mine. Me and my Sis, Lady Gohan were sitting at the dinner table AFTER dinner and I said how I wanted to write a fic about how Heero accidentally killed Relena then we started throwing around stupid ideas and this is what happened. Do ya like it? If ya do e-mail me at THANX! Last things "Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely" is by the Backstreet Boys, and "Nobody Wants to Be Lonely" is by Ricky Martin and Christina Agulira. One last thing I AM NOT ANTI-RELENA! She happens to be one of my favorite characters...but IT'S SO MUCH FUN TO PICK ON THE PRINCESS! Ja


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